Man, I feel so decieved. I hate it.

I feel I've been lied to, and lied to myself, and all around just tossed aside like something you toss aside. What the hell is love anyway? The one I know is a fantastic bunch of smoke and mirrors ready to leave as it pleases while attempting to retain all of its luster for a later date, like a prized antique you bring out once every few years to show off at a convention just to put back into storage.

I am so tired, of being alone, being here and having feelings that aren't returned. Walking around so sure of myself that in reality, I don't know shit. Where do you all find people to put your trust in anyway? who can you trust after all? I guess I don't really know. I feel like such a fool.

such a fool.

but it's really too soon for me to make any assumptions about what's going on, I guess all I know is I'll need a little help from my friends

But man, I can sleep until 10:10 today before class, but I can't fucking sleep. It's one of those days, when the emotions are so powerful and just gnaw at your psyche, normalcy just, doesn't seem possible.

so! I guess the question is what do I do from here? tend my fresh wound and continue on another day like everyone else? I'm not sure I was ready to head in the direction I have to go into, or was, pushed into. I hate settling as well. But I have to, I have to sit around and know what I had while trying to move "forward". Fucking positive cognition.

Sucks that it has to be like this, but then again, These are the consequences of the choices of life. Make the choice, live with the result

Things may well be just fine, but not yet. my emotional fury hasn't begun to cease, and my world that's collapsed hasn't begun to rebuild. and I don't want to hear that it's not a big deal, if you say that to me, I am going to tell you to kiss my loving ass.

I have to go function again, Later