things may be settling finally, myself might be coming together, only a short time will tell.

this situation is making me sick to my stomache, this is the first time I have felt so pissed since January of this year. I think I am being decieved, and it makes me sick.

time for some random love quotes to make me sigh.

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

"True love" isn't so much a dreamy feeling that you have as it is an enduring commitment to give sacrificially --even, or perhaps especially, when you don't feel like it."

"Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." <---St. Augustine really messed up bad when he said that, hell hath no agony like lost love.

"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love." agreed

"True love is not rare at the age of a teen, but recognizing it as true love is."

"The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope."

"Hell is to love no longer."

and my last one
"Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not as we expect it to be but as it is--is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love."

read through some of these, I hope you guys enjoy the last one, that is how I feel about certain issues. but until later guys...Ciao

gah, figures first full day of school and stupid homework already...bah bah bah, oh well other than that things are looking up.

First day of school, it was actually fun, I just hope I can get a good locker again, grrr.

Well this is where all of my strength if any I have gained comes along, it is time to put all the petty stuff that happened over the summer behind me, it is school time, friends are here, cherish them, because it is senior year guys.

as to the end of my summer, it is a good ending I am afraid, everything is settling nicely and in an opposite direction I thought it would end.

Just let me say thank you for helping me through all of this you guys, you all mean the world to me. I would give up anything for you all.

now I can be strong, and I feel as if I can help out anyone, I have the confidence again. So please don't hesitate to call for anything or hangout or whatever!

Peace out doggs (HAHA)

thats right, no matter how hard I tried, it didn't even matter....

My favorite song, and the lyrics, read them closely aside from a few lines, and that is how I feel for the most part:In The End

It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

Chorus

I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know (2x) Chorus

since there is this current aura of depression invading everyone I think I will submit my poetic description of my feelings.

" heart, which beats in ones chest, and gives forth endless possibilities of love, I have not. A soul, the very essence of ones' self, I have lost. my mind is scattered over miles of dark endless nightmares. I used to think I was strong, I could handle problems, and end up with a good position on things. boy, was I wrong."

I would take any problem in the world, anything, I would even take a fatal illness if I could have her love me till I died. but that isn't going to happen. I messed up, and I am paying for it in full, with the added card shark 35% interest on it.

my thought for the day, I wish I would have died before this summer started.

end of story

hehehe

I had a pretty good time today, at one point I had a desire to go to malley's so I went and Jana came with me, we has some good ice-cream and have good conversations, then afterwards I went with Josh Fleischer to see "Jay and Silent Bob strike back". 2 words

Good Movie

it was funny and very entertaining with nice intellectual jokes, and PLENTY of Cameos. a definate must see for anyone who likes comedies, and especially if you like Kevin Smith movies.

so now I am just sitting here contemplating whether to continue with reading the summer materials presented to me so I can further my education in the english departmental course.

Ciao

Well I didn't get to go lazer tagging, the hours for the store were different than we thought, so we went and played video games all day long, which led to me being brain fried. afterwards I went over Karrie's and met Heather (she is cool) and had fun.

As for today, I woke up a little while ago from a VERY disturbing dream. it was horrible, I hate having dreams that go like that, but it usually happens anyways so I can't really help it.

Whoooo All (or most of) the day Lazer-Tag today, gonna be a blast, see you guys and gals when I get home.

sometimes you feel like you need to tell people your story, sometimes you don't

yep

Alright I let it up for awhile, I don't feel I need to keep it up anymore

Well I just woke up from some weird weird type of dreams.

Have you guys ever been dreaming, but you could feel yourself sleep? I could FEEL myself sleep, that is the craziest thing ever.

Josh Fleischer and I went to Great Northern Mall today, hehe we got lost and couldn't find my car for awhile (dude where's my car??) and we had fun at Best buy and the mall, we stopped in this shop filled with Weapons, Swords, and Nunchucks, and Axe's OH MY.

we just wandered around for awhile, it was good ole fun.

think for one moment, about your best friend. Think about all the good times you had with them, and think about how much they mean to you.

now think about what it is like to not be able to bring yourself to talk to that person anymore, and when you do, you feel bad.

that usually how I feel now adays, but other than that I am doing ok.

I am going to sleep very early, have a nice night everyone

never anyone around when you need someone to talk to online, bah humbug.

I really want to know what the hell some people are thinking, because sometimes it just sucks when you have to guess.

I had a good night in the chat room, but now I need to make sure I stay on track to look like brad pitt in fight club, that would just make my entire life worth it!

So yeah Amy and I were supposed to go out for food, but that didn't happen, oh well someother time. Karrie and Val are being all confusing and stuff, that was weird. and I have to give Katie Krumrieg her letter, and I have to write back super psycho stalker girl. heheheh fun times fun times.

Well I just woke up from a really strange but cool dream, (this isn't a sick dream about sex and stuff) but it involved an entire amusement park of lesbians (I said no sex, don't worry about it I am a clean boy), I was the only guy and at least 54 times a security guard asked what in the spotted hell I was doing in the park.

eventually the dream took me back to roosevelt elementary school where It started snowing and I got to have fun with the girl from Big Daddy (the one who worked at hooters, and dated jon stewart) or if you didn't see that she was in the Cable guy, as matt broderick's girlfriend. and the only thing that happened even remotely sexual was I got to kiss her in the snow! (HURRAY!!!), but she made fun of me because I couldn't kiss as well as a girl could...damn. it was a good dream that is most of it, I left out the amusement park antics. well see you later!

Right now I am in the CHATROOM OF DOOM, well no it is just a really very random random chatroom filled with random random stuff, it is kinda nice to sit back and watch the carnage hehehe

Well Page is almost ready to reveal to friends, hehehe

Well now I have some free time so I will try to work on this site so more so it isn't so boring

So yeah I think I will give this blog stuff a try to see what I can pull off with this HTML possiblities