Mr. JT, whatcha got for me? I've been listening to a lot of Justin Timberlake lately, his smooth style is just the right mood music for a lot of occasions. Also, I've tackled the Dashboard songs.

I'm ok with em all. The more naps I've been taking the better I've been feeling. I haven't been having any odd dreams, so I'm chillin like a villian. Plus I never thought writing a lot in a journal would actually help. But I guess they say "you write things out of you". I think that can be true to some level. Journals are kinda like friends, that you don't feel you're burdening with your problems. Something about the sound of the rain above you on a "deck" type area outside the dorm. And then a mouse runs bye. YES! a mouse. I can tell ya, at first sight, something small and brown running around like a little turd with legs is kinda scary! But I kinda laughed that off, and continued on.

It's all cool though, at this point, the drama builds and builds, but it just gets to the point where you have to take a step back, and relax. I do that by *trying* to help other people, becuase I do really care about you, whoever you are. If you know me, you'd know that much. And then...after the day's over, I just look back on it, and just laugh. It's all point of view. every last smile to tear.

Off to dream, maybe I'll have something good to write about. either way, the dreams just the beginning of another adventure

Do you have as hard a time not talking to me, as I have not talking to you?

This weather....produces this stuff:

Dark are the days,
when dreams turn into nightmares.
Dark are the days,
to sleep in the sun to wake in the snow.
the bronze stripped to pale white
leaving the skin searching for true color.
the lure of spring drew out the flourishing life,
to be snuffed out by the cold frost.
Dark are the days,
when the everlasting, live no more.

This weather is having a sort of depressing effect on me. I wake up to sunshine and go to class to come out to dreary storm clouds, and it doesn't smell like rain, but rather, nothing. It smells like nothing! How can the world smell...like nothing? I'm sure it didn't become void of smell, it's just, I got nothing from it.

Kinda sad really.

Also, I'm not sure how sick I'm getting, but I have a feeling this moisture in my chest isn't going to bode well. the Last time I felt this coming on was last summer when I had to get an Inhaler and get on Anti-Biotics. Yuck!

oh well, I think it's time for a nap. one of those naps you hope makes you feel rejuvenated when you wake up.

Well sometimes, little things come back, I thought I was gonna end up having a shitty dream, and lo and behold! A great one:

Tonight's leading roles are played by: Josh, and his brothers, Juston, Jordan, and Myself. We were playing this card game we used to play back in the day. It began with us just making jokes for about an hour, but random and completely arbitrary topics. So, we got to playing this game, and we were having fun...but then! We kinda teleported somehow INTO the concept of the game. After a few rounds of this crazy magical summoning of different odd creatures and such, it turns out that each of us was in some odd tournament, that if you've ever played Soul Calibur 2 it reminded me greatly of that. The rest of my dream was just crazy martial arts kind of things, and it brought characters in from books that I've read and games that I've played, it was a pleasure to dream that dream.

Also I did go see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Now that movie, is a great movie. Fantastic even. It makes me realize things that I kinda didn't want to realize, but nonetheless I can't be a child of Ignorance. Accept things as they come. But I really recommend it to a few of you, which I'll probably tell you "Dude (or Dudette) you have to go see it!".

There is one line in the movie that just shocked me...I just couldn't believe I didn't see that side before. If you haven't seen it and you don't want to hear anything from the movie (that you didn't see in the previews) I'd suggest skipping down this entry a tad, I'll give you a place to divert your eyes to............Warning.........Getting closer to the spoiler........Still here? Good. The line basically sounds like this "But you'll find things you don't like, and I'll get bored, because that's what I do", the responce to that...."Ok". I had to blink a few times to let that set in. That's a big part of relationships, that idea that you should enjoy the time you have, even if it will get sour later. I want to try so hard to get that idea to stay with me, as a part of me, because that (in my opinion) is a wonderful idea. To enjoy someone while you can...even if it will go bad, or even end....hmmmm.

the Brain is hard at work on that idea

Look here if you didn't want to read the quote

You know...I really, kind of exhausted things to say, I've almost emptied my brain on the blog today..and that's not saying much but hey, I haven't been up to TOO long so I haven't accumulated anything else to think about.

Cheers!

There are a few things that have been on my mind. for instance, what is up with those type of classes that are just, pure torture??

I was in my physics class today, on days when there are tests or homework to turn in, there must be at least 30 people in class. Today...there was 7. that's right 7.
Now what would constitute this insane idea of 23+ people not showing for class? Well I'll tell you my friend...

It's boring as hell!!

Oh my god! about 45 minutes into the class today I just heard myself screaming in my mind, so I got up and left. It was insane. Seriously, that physics class is nice...to play video games in! I also forgot my Gameboy™ in the room, and I figure that is what attributed to such Mental carnage. I figure I'd post this topic in tribute to all of you out there who have a class that just rakes on your consciousness like a cheese grater!

Shout out to Josh, who finally gave me the big "I told you so" email, much appreciated buddy and even got a laugh from me too. However, if you do infact come home this (or next) weekend, be sure to give my Cellyphone a call. It takes me a grand total of an hour (tops) to get my computer in ship shape and be at home. Not that it needs to be used, but that's just more options to do.

If sleeping was a sport, my roomate would be the Tiger Woods, Babe Ruth, Joe Montana, Lebron James, and whoever else of the sport. He has such a natural talent! it's cool and all, I just think that if he was a rechargeable battery, he might have enough charge to detonate and radiate an area like Chernobyl in 1986.

Well, I promised I would write a lot of my ideas down here before I spent the majority of the night studying for tomorrow's Statistics of Mathmatics test. also one more notable notation, HR!! miss Ramsay, I hope your Physical Therapy healing speeds up and your back to 100% in no time.

that's all for now, peace to the izzout

Sigh. Sometimes there's just no pleasing some people.

I have this awesome opportunity to live in this beautiful...BEAUTIFUL house next year, but unfortunatly a couple of my friends don't get along. That sucks hardcore. it's just a waste. They could have so much fun, and so many opportunities are cut down because of this feud. But I'll respect their feelings

but I guess it's not my business eh? at least their part isn't. Once I start catching this flak for being friends to either side is when the axe falls. I feel that I shouldn't be penalized for being a friend to anyone.

Regardless I can't do much about the situation without being "put in my place".

The Chapelle Show is the funniest shit ever! I love it so much.

So I think there are a lot of fun things lined up in life, a lot of possibilities, and I'm definatly getting a job in a couple weeks, I'm excited. Job's can be such a great distraction. I miss Gamecrazy, because of the people that I came in contact with. I may go back, but I think I'll check around first. It was a great place because I got to be me, with a whole bunch of people who looked up to me for Video game advice. As well as a lot of fun little kids to chat with.

Who knows, but I'm lookin forward to whatever comes my way

So, what do you say when there's nothing to say? simple...It'ssssssssssssssss Supercalifrag....ok no not really.

A lot of good things this weekend, and a little bit of thinkin (of course). I did get to meet (BW) Chelsea's best friend Libby, she was really fun!! and they were damn good at Beer Pong.

That night was fantastic on friday, it was great times, I met...Faith Leslie from Findley outside of There...I gotta remember to visit, I'll bet she didn't think I'd remember.

Saturday was, Headache day. you know that kinda...my face hurts for things I did the night before kinda deal? not good times.

I think I have been counterproductive to my health lately! I get better during the day, and I stay up waaaay too late and mess it up. one of these days I'm just going to go to bed, insane early.

Speaking of bed. I've been having tons of dreams which people have just been going to town on with their dream dictionarys. And I figure why not put em up on the blog so people can share in my subconscious visions I have daily as I sleep. I'm remembering them all, everyday(unless I forget to reflect upon them when I wake up).

(this is a random picture to refresh your mind from reading this much so far!

So I have this one dream right, it's in this big city. The city is not known to me. and I am basically walking around the city by myself. I however had the notion that I was in fact part of a field trip taken there by people unbeknownst to me(and yes Unbeknownst is a word). I can remember it was near night time in the city because everything was blue, or has a blueish hue to it. There were some fierce storms just going completely nuts on the city, and people were in an uproar. However I was just walking on the sidewalk around buildings in between storms as they passed (think Cyclones of sorts). I remember being afraid as I looked up at the sky which was twirling around and as I saw the fury of everything, but I kept walking. and I wasn't quite sure where I was going...but I just kept walking....

and that's the end of that.

Did you ever notice that the song from Justin Tiberlake "Cry me a river", has basically, an unlimited amount of meanings? and of course, I love the rain at the begining of the song...if you know me and my rain, how nice of a touch is that eh? I also notice that certain awesome subtleties are lost when listening to music from speakings vs using headphones.

Let's put on our thinking caps here, when is the time in life to put our gameface on? when is the last straw? It's different for everyone. but isn't all that the same as saying, when do you give up? when's the best time to throw in the towel? or maybe cut our losses?

There are so many different angles to look at any situation. If anyone out there is having some problems, I recommend finding someone to help ya, then find the best one for you.

but never give up.

RAWR!!!

Yeah...that's all she wrote for tonight

Here's a story...of a man named Dav(ey)(id)






who was bringing up three very lovely....girls? I dunno it sounded good I guess



So right now I should be off studying at the Library where my bookbag is, but this is my current lunch break...good times



Speaking of which, thanks to those of you who responded to my blog's question, It was interesting to hear your comments. I love a good philisophical chat. I guess the hardest part is not pissing anyone off with ideas. but it happens. It's been a rough week getting back into the school game...oh man the sickness is retarded. A lot of vitamin C is gonna be in my future.

So I hear Chelsea (lakewood chelsea) is having some similar emotional issues. That's insane. but you know what "They" say. When it rains...it pours.

and my god does it! but couldn't we also say....when it Shines, it burns my retina and I cry!!. I was just kidding I was thinking more of "When it suns, it shines" but I don't think you can actually "Sun" someone or something. I'll have to give that one a try.

I'm Rick James, Bitch

During Philosophy class today, the teacher brought an interesting quote that I'm not quite sure if I agree with, but it is definatly thought provoking I figured I maybe should post it here on the blog to see what any of you readers thing of it:

"We can only see what we are through the eyes of others"

Interesting eh? The eyes of others apparently is a sort of metaphore for "Reflection of self". I guess the main idea of that passage is "You aren't your intentions, you are what you do".

what do you think about that? really now? It kinda breaks the walls of "appeasing" people. like a slap to the face... it's sobering reality.


It was a pretty new statement to REALLY hear, it definatly stopped me from drawing my cartoon guys to give it my undivided attention. I dunno, so what do you think of it? lemme know, gimmie an IM or an E-mail (Ratboy7612@aol.com), cause I'm interested.

Whatever happened to the beautiful era of the fantastic disney musicals? I think perhaps the best little stretch of disney films from the Little Mermaid up to Tarzan.

I would love to watch the movies in the middle of those...just think! Aladdin, Lion King, Mulan, Hunchback, Hercules Pocahontas (and of course Little Mermaid and Tarzan).

what a disneyfest. I call that the glory years (from 1989 to 1999). Beautiful times.

Alright, I guess it's about time to go see Starsky and Hutch, I'll probably end up writing a review on the movie. But for now, peace out

Fuck you dreams....fuck you

Lately, my dreams have been very frieghtening to me. I've woken up the past few days shaking from them. Even now as I type this. I can't run, I can't hide, and I can't defeat my fears. What do you do when you can't escape from something?

I have this crazy Linkin park song stuck in my head...you want to here it? Click Here!
If you want the lyrics to read along with the song, go here


I would type out lyrics, but I don't really like that style. they lose a lot of the flavor when taken out of the song, and usually they're half a page long, you could be listening to a song while you read the rest of my jargon, or even leave the page and still continue to process the lyrics.

I don't think anyone really understands the real reason for these feelings, Maybe Kev, he'd have the best idea of anyone I know. all I can say is don't assume, just ask.

alright time to venture out again, maybe the piano is calling me.

later

Oh man, I was dreaming today and I do remember my dream very well. However, the weirdest thing happened. At the end of my dream, there was a voice that called to me, and it said "Dave, where are you??". This was a girls voice, and it was all crazy warped and echo-y. I woke up seconds before my alarm to that.

I dunno about that kinda stuff, it's a little unsettling. If it really happened I wish I knew who it was.

I did just take my Art History final. and Miss Mary Theobald, you're getting a big kiss from me whether you like it or not! My academic is not forfit thanks to her.

I could do a dance. but first, two more classes, then home, then haircut then MOTHER FRICKIN NAP, then Bowling.

Killer

later!

Spring break coming up, and I'm avoiding studying for Western Art, but I'll have to do it eventually.

Today I missed lunch with steph! Shit shit fuck damn balls ass. I also missed a class, but I woke up and though "Shit! Steph!!".

I didn't get to make it up either. oh well. I also found out I have the wrong book for my art class, and thought I was totally doomed as far as studying goes. BUT, Magical Mary Theobald happened to have a copy of the huge lexicon of art appreciation, My luck is astounding tonight. speaking of which, Bowling with Ricky, Fuck yeah! I'm lookin forward to that tomorrow, then on saturday, Karaoke party time!

Driving home from the concert type thing with Mary tonight was fun times, and home I mean to BW. I basically take a song, tune out the current lyrics, and make up my own little verses and runs. It's kinda humorous if you were to say, sit in the back seat and listen to my rediculous ravings.

speaking of rediculous, the more I talk to people the more I hear of them wanting to head to California...man, that state might end up being packed with lakewood people. at first it lessened the appeal of moving there, but I am very determined to get my beachfront property, with a nice view of the crashing waves and the scent of the ocean drifting in through the window. I could imagine myself sitting and doodling out the sliding door to the deck near the beach. only I could imagine that house being very lonely.

buy hey, who knows what relationship future is, trying to figure it out it enough to drive someone to drink.

but not me, drinking is not in my program tonight, only Art...and lots of it.

well only a handful of hours left before spring break begins, another adventure begins!

There's nothing like a little rockapella to lift your spirits.

This is why I love barbershop and acappella stylings so much. More and more I can see why Music Therapy is a viable major. Some songs just have this embedded vigor and light in them

You know, the songs that put the twinkle back in your eye, makes you take the breath that cleans you those bad vibes for awhile. It's like medicine for the soul. I don't deny I can be upset and irritable, but some good music helps cure that right up. If I ever get snippy or something online, just offer advice to listen to some harmony before continuing with the conversation.

I mean seriously how can you not feel better or happier after hearing THIS!
I promise it'll work for the better

=D

Alright, so I got through my history Midterm. That crazy teacher made us believe there was going to be all sorts of content on the test, but I swear I have Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more notecards than she had questions.

That's a relief, I hope I did well on the essay, because I was writing it I got caught in this nasty nasty daydream. You know, one of those were your eyes get real wide and your breathing increases to the point where you start to get suspicious. Then you wake up from it, look around and try to remember where your thoughts trailed off a minute or two ago. Lucky for me I'm in the back cornerish of the room on the wall, so I think no one noticed...that's a plus. Afterwards I attempted to complete it, and did relatively early, which is why I am taking the time to blog about it, because I have a few extra minutes before I'd normally get back.

And no heather, I don't know Jack about what I'd be voting for, I've been a little too cought up in my own little fantasy world to take noticed of petty things like, "The Future of our country". Scoff.

So yes, I'm looking forward to a couple things at the moment, gonna be a nice change of pace. Saturday!! KARAOKE JAM! nice! I'm really looking forward to it Ladies, I'd assume it's at Krazy Kristyn's (not really crazy, just wanted to spell something with a K) and it will be so needed.

and fuck yes, canada's about to get a rude awakening during spring break. when I crash the boarders with some fun guys. Look out Canadian's Dave is comin atcha, (and I have a lot of unused condoms....so ladies beware! well they always beware because most of em have a billion guys after them anyway...but this is way to long to put in a god damn parenthesis, I mean seriously, this sentance is huge. I even started a new sentance in a parenthesis!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? a Fricking Parenthesis statement is going to send me to the mental institute!!).

phew, close one. Alright back to regularly scheduled programming.

Wow, thank you guys for the kind words on the away message. It was definatly a way to perk up the day via some classical comrodery. Each and everyone one of you gave me a smile.

some clarification on the subject: Being spoon fed one particular feeling, then it being 180'd (well maybe 90'd or even so much as 110'd) on you, is a particularly nasty way to come to realizations. Emotional Ambiguity is sick.

If I wanted to dance around something I'd go to a club. and If I wanted to unravel a mystery I'd ready a sherlock holmes novel. I think relationships is one area that a little straightforwardness could go a long way. I don't deny I'm a bit dodgy at times, but just like everyone else, I'm workin on that.

So I suppose that I should just stick to doing what I do, I guess best...as kind of a pun if you understand the situation. That's being a friend. We all know how important it is to keep the friendship component of any relationship whether it be a person, your pet, or even the pillow you sleep on. But sometimes you just gotta stop bullshitting yourself, deal with the negativity, let it flow out.

Sometimes you need to yell at a person, or toss your pet across the room (landing safely on a couch of course), or punch/scream/throw your pillow. But I'm not cruel enough to not realize that the friendship part is what (in my opinion) we should all stay true to.

I'm still in the anger management stage, if you don't watch out....you might be tackled (if you're a monk)

P.S. - This is what part of the alpha bet would look like if Q and R were eliminated

and it can't be SO bad....at least the monkey still loves me ---->

Man, I feel so decieved. I hate it.

I feel I've been lied to, and lied to myself, and all around just tossed aside like something you toss aside. What the hell is love anyway? The one I know is a fantastic bunch of smoke and mirrors ready to leave as it pleases while attempting to retain all of its luster for a later date, like a prized antique you bring out once every few years to show off at a convention just to put back into storage.

I am so tired, of being alone, being here and having feelings that aren't returned. Walking around so sure of myself that in reality, I don't know shit. Where do you all find people to put your trust in anyway? who can you trust after all? I guess I don't really know. I feel like such a fool.

such a fool.

but it's really too soon for me to make any assumptions about what's going on, I guess all I know is I'll need a little help from my friends

But man, I can sleep until 10:10 today before class, but I can't fucking sleep. It's one of those days, when the emotions are so powerful and just gnaw at your psyche, normalcy just, doesn't seem possible.

so! I guess the question is what do I do from here? tend my fresh wound and continue on another day like everyone else? I'm not sure I was ready to head in the direction I have to go into, or was, pushed into. I hate settling as well. But I have to, I have to sit around and know what I had while trying to move "forward". Fucking positive cognition.

Sucks that it has to be like this, but then again, These are the consequences of the choices of life. Make the choice, live with the result

Things may well be just fine, but not yet. my emotional fury hasn't begun to cease, and my world that's collapsed hasn't begun to rebuild. and I don't want to hear that it's not a big deal, if you say that to me, I am going to tell you to kiss my loving ass.

I have to go function again, Later